From a post on Tango Colorado:
In Buenos Aires, every dance, except for this one, was invited by cabaceo. The verb is "cabacear"...it's an action verb....
We women are awaiting action...the "look" from afar, the nod of acceptance, the approach, the embrace, the breathing together, moving (internally) to the music,the music, the music....and finally, the taking of the first step.
Blech! Hackhackhack. Spit. Yech!
What is this? Why do I hate cabaceo?
I hate the way a teenage girl hates her mother, the way the Incredible Hulk hates the bad guys. My loathing is a fat, lazy slob; it finds almost nothing is worth lifting its head over, so what is this?
What the heck is it about cabaceo?
Spare me your psychobabbbbble. It's not sex.
Is it the inauthenticity? Fraudulence raises my hackles. And this seems like a fraud: I mean, really, except for girls on street corners looking for johns, who acts this way?
But we are not frauds. We are not pretending cabaceo is our game; we are very self-consciously putting it on. This is vamping, not lying. Why a whole dance culture would want to model its invitation on this ... well, look where tango comes from. Why we would want to propagate that relation for our daughters and sons is another question, but one that prompts intellectual curiosity, not instinctive revulsion.
Is it the cheap romanticism? The Kodak-moment sentimentality? Getting warmer, I think.
Is it all the whining lately on TC Discuss, that has me in the mood to rant?
The stricture. Cabaceo is a rule. I don't like rules.
Hmmm.. That was all way too easy.
There's something else going on here, and I am going to figure it out...
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3 comments:
Eh?!
Cabeceo which is how it is spelled, is brillant! One can avoid dances with undesirables, and it is a gentle way of turning someone down, or even being turned down without embarrassment or need of explaination. Very civilized!
Hmmm...maybe just try to look at it mere body language, which, really it is.
I love it for those times when a song I like comes on, I see someone I want to dance with, he's across the room, so I get his attention with my eyes and a smile. He "gets it" comes right over and yay
;-)
An interesting take written by me,
http://tinatangos.wordpress.com/2007/08/29/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/
I am posting this excerpt from a message David Hodgson sent to the Tango Colorado listserv.
David wrote:
Martin wrote something about Cabaceo, which is really
great and hits the nail on the head.
He also mentioned about the codes. I believe a little
clarification and perspective on the codes needs to be
mentioned, and I feel I can finally talk about now.
I am going to guess most of people reading this list
were introduced to the codes when they started tango.
The cabeceo being one expression of these codes.
The conflict and much confusion I see going around is
that the codes we talk about with in Argentine Tango
really do not exclusively exist with in the tango we
all love, revel in, get frustrated with, hate and
express. Nor just in the dance halls or floors where
we share together. The codes exist everywhere in the
world each of us lives in. The clerk checking out your
groceries, or janitor. Your boss, and peers. Your
husband or wife, partner, lover/s. Family, friends and
loved ones. The stranger walking down the street, or
standing next to in line at the movies, or at the next
table in the restaurant. Perhaps part of a chosen
spiritual path. Perhaps the sensual affections from a
hot gal, getting hit on by a hot guy or even a lap
dance from a great stripper. Yes this extends to us on
the dance floor and no one is really exempt. The
confusion comes in where we think the codes begin and
end in BSAS. They don’t.
The codes that are talked about (or not talked about)
in the milongas of BSAS are a dialect of the codes we
experience in our everyday life. Are they important,
yes extremely. Because the particular dialect of codes
that exist in the milongas are the model of the codes
we develop for our selves with in our own expression
of this dance.
I am not Argentine nor was I raised there, so I do not
understand a lot of the subtle details of the dialect
of the codes down there. I was born and raised here in
the US. I chose to live a different life than most of
the people I see around me, which has often left me
feeling like a stranger in my own home country, except
for a few places. In these places I have been, the
codes do not manifest them selves from a place of
assumption (your codes are the same as everybody
else’s. “Egalitarian”). A few codes may be handed to
you, for the most part you seek them out, discover and
learn.
In order for this to work one must develop their own
codes and have this work with the rest of the dance
hall. Which means that someone has to take it upon
them selves to be aware of them selves and the world,
make mistakes, get feedback from other people. Yes,
also be open to receive a dance and open to ask for a
dance. If there is rejection to a request, it is not
personal, it is just a tanda.
I did spend some time in BSAS, not as a tourist but
for other reasons. Used the codes I’ve integrated long
before I found tango (and continue to refine), that
work in other places where I have earned my way, and
had no problems in the milongas and on the streets.
Did not impose, just walked in as my self, with what I
know, paid attention to the space where I was, danced
well, and made sure to tip the server or barkeep. Had
no problems getting dances from most of the women
(many were local), helped a few women start getting
dances from the locals by showing her off. Yes it does
help that I dance well, I also work my ass off to be
good.
If someone wants to adopt a few things from The
Argentine dialect into their own codes, this is great
(refinement of your own codes). Or perhaps someone
takes up the practice of integrating the culture and
lives it all the time for a while, outstanding (they
will have a lot to share when the project is
complete). If someone wants to take this on as a
research project, fabulous (Please teach what you
learned).
I believe the knee jerk reaction going on is (from
some of the Argentines I have talked with and some of
the people pulling a sales job touting the Argentine
way). Is about Argentine Tango loosing its heart or
the real meaty, juicy, sublime experience we all
crave, or even loosing contact with it’s culture. That
is up to the people who dance Tango. If we rely on the
formula of steps, or imposing that walking is the only
way, or continue to prop “Connection” on a pedestal.
Then yes, the Tango we love will become another
ballroom dance. Flaccid.
If we take this next year and developed what our
expression is as a community in Denver, find our own
voice and style. Not being right but also tossing in
an embellishment and style of arrogance. Men and Women
alike. We have a good community, teachers, people and
dancers. From my eye and experience our community has
the potential, but also has a lot to learn, experience
and integrate. This is just a next step in the
evolution with in our community. (If you are reading
this from a different community, feel free to add your
community name in this).
For the Leads: If you want to tout what you got
(Lies!! like your foot work). I want to see what you
got out there on the dance floor and I want to see
this in the face and eyes of the Follow (Nuff said).
For the Follows: I don’t just want to see how flashy
the adornment you can do are (boring). I want to see
that you are clearly present with the Lead, you have
accepted a dance from. That your embellishment is a
beautiful accent to the expression of your individual
voice (because there are a few of us that are
listening to this when we lead you).
Some people are a part of Tango for fun and a nice
social dance only. Thank you!!
Others are here for different reasons. Thank you!!
There is room and expression for everyone. Each
dancing as individuals, in an embrace with another,
and moving as a whole on the entire floor.
Regardless if it in the Turnverein, Avalon, Mercury,
Tango House. Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, New
York. Or even the many salons of BSAS. When we visit
places they will say “Wow, that is Denver style. Show
me something of your style and I will show you
something of my own style”. Or possibly “Buddy, that
sucks, show me that step again and will show you a
different step”.
If Argentine Tango is to remain out of the realm of
ballroom, then this is one way how to keep it living
and breathing, out of many possibilities.
As far as Argentine Tango forgetting where it came
from. I like to think of this Tango as a connection
with a Lover you can never forget. It marks you for
your life time, and no matter where you go there is a
thread that is expressed through this mark. It makes
us who we are. Also for us who dance tango, know we
can integrate and not hide this thread.
Argentine Tango must travel away from BSAS for a time,
but will never forget and will return with a new
expression. As Tango will do with each of us.
Now this people,, are the codes and that is also sexy.
I also believe (along with the above) that it is
equally true the Argentines will not let any one else
forget where Argentine tango came from either.
Thanks
David Hodgson
Ever thus to the Spirit of the Dance
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