Barbara Durr's Top Tips for Winning the Eye Game

1. Shut up. During the cortina tell your girlfriends you can't talk now, you need to take care of business.

2. Stay put. Leads note where you are sitting, and they go looking for you. If you roam, you will lose them.

3. Put yourself out there. Barbara demonstrates: She sits up straight, alert and eager. Her eyes scan the room. When they come upon mine, she gives me a direct, eye-to-eye look. There's no mistaking her message. It's courteous and impersonal; there is no shyness or hopefulness in it. It says very directly "I'm available!"

4. Nod freely--but not first. There seems to be a fair amount of nodding involved in the eye game. He nods first to ask and you nod to answer and he nods to confirm the answer. OK. Stop now. You don't want to look like a bobble-head. Smiling is optional. Barbara holds a pleasant and inviting look on her face, but she is not All-American friendly.

5. Keep looking. As the lead approaches, fix your gaze upon him. If you look away, he might think he was mistaken, or you changed your mind.

6. Beware the spillover effect. From any distance, it's nearly impossible to tell who is cabaceo-ing whom. In our exercise, the person I thought I had accepted a dance with went for the woman beside me--while a person I had not even noticed thought my nods were meant for her. Barbara's remedy: Don't stand up until the lead is squarely in front of your chair. This is not only practical, it's lovely to watch him close the space between you.

7. Go for the partial tanda. I've always been mystified when leads ask me for the last dance of the tanda. Seems a little late to get started. Barbara Durr explains: It's a nice way to take a new partner for a trial run. So don't give up just because you don't get the tanda. Keep putting yourself out there until the last dance begins.

8. Give it up whenever you feel like it. If you don't like the music, or if all the leads you want to dance with are already engaged, you can resume that chat with your girlfriend.

9. Make eye contact with leads who are dancing. Yikes! Yes, Barbara says. The leaders are scanning their surroundings as they dance. If you are sitting near the floor, they can't help but scan you. Take advantage of that split second to offer a look of admiration. Then stay put (see Tip #2.)